BY WILLIAM DEAN
Some of the contestants excitedly slapped their thighs.
A few laid on their stomachs and craned their necks.
One man even performed while lying on his back.
The first annual Sea Lion Calling Contest held Thursday night in downtown Astoria was both weird and wildly entertaining. It was also unrehearsed, since few of the 20-plus impressionists felt any need to practice.
Not in a town where the whiskered marine mammals’ incessant barks and bellows can be heard nearly a mile away.
Andrew Hirahara, the adult division champion, grew up close to the Astoria waterfront. For years and years, sea lion sounds were drummed into his head.
“All night long those sea lions serenaded me to sleep,” he said with a smile.
When he got on stage, using the nickname “Big Kahuna,” he immediately dropped to the ground. He then issued the loudest barks of the competition in rapid sequence, drawing hearty applause from the crowd gathered on the Buoy Beer patio.
“I think they heard that in Longview,” quipped the emcee, Quinn Haase. “That was amazing.”
Haase serves as executive director of the Astoria Downtown Historic District Association, which put on the event. It was part of the district’s Hot Summer Night party and fundraiser, featuring live music and other entertainment throughout the core.
Presented with a bulging gift basket, Hirahara hoisted it over his head in triumph.
“I’ve been practicing my entire life,” he told the crowd, but he didn’t mean actual practice.
He looked comfortable performing, which also made sense. “I’m Filipino, so I know karaoke,” he joked.
The youth division winner, 9-year-old Wesley Jones, also didn’t bother to rehearse.
Afterward, he handed his prize basket to his dad. He was more interested in the scoop of ice cream in his cup.
Asked for the secret to his winning performance, Wesley shrugged: “I just did my Swedish Chef impression: Hurdy de gurdy! Bork! Bork!”
Colleen Holdar, the district’s events and marketing manager, came up with sea lion calling idea, calling it a needed dose of “whimsy and silliness.” On Thursday night, she even climbed the stage herself to issue a few choice barks.
Haase asked the beer-tipping audience at the end if the contest should return next year, and was answered with affirmative hoots and hollers.
“Yeah, this is fun,” he agreed. “We’ve got to do this again.”
